Epic Fail #1
This is NOT – as promised on the promo material – doom metal. Its traditional heavy metal, injected with power metal. If this is doom, I’m a teetotaling celibatist.
Epic Fail #2
“A merry-go-around without sound” (!!?) I couldn’t find the lyrics anywhere (not even on the completely dysfunctional website*, so I had to deduce them myself. When did soundless merry-go-arounds turn scary? I prefer them that way. The fat Swedish accent doesn’t improve the literary features of Carnage Carnival.
* “Our new little garden on the World Wide Web”! I’m laughing my ass off here. No one calls the internet THAT anymore. And what’s this about their little garden? Sounds kind of girlish to me…
Epic Fail #3
You don’t sound tough when you whine… And you don’t live up to the label “Intense and very melodic vocals” either.
Epic Fail #4
You cannot hide lack of creativity behind endless variations of the same song. Or by stealing from King Diamond – leave King alone!
Epic Fail #5
“Outstanding artwork” = Drunken Photoshop’ing…
Epic Fail #6
Tank-top, LaVeyan goat tee AND a magicians black top-hat!? Posing like Manowar did in the early 80’s!? Appearing on the photo in regular cloth when everybody else is dressed up for Halloween!? Nooo…
Epic Fail #7
Camouflaging bad or broken vocals behind a robot-like voice filter. Intense and melodious indeed.
Epic Fail #8
Playing together for +16 years and still not accepting the facts.
Epic Fail #9
Yawn
Epic Fail #10
Putting the insane monster-clown with pointed teeth on the front cover means (and sums up this “review”): This is the b-movie of a music genre.
